September 5, 2013 § Leave a comment

She stares out of the window. Rainwater running down the window pane. Drop by drop. Unlike the time around her. Blank. Thinking about her life just a few days back. Was it truly her life? Is that how she wanted her life to be? In reality. I wonder. She wondered.  She thinks. At least I had a job. Someway to utilize my time. Sorry, did I just write ‘utilize’? Someway to vile away her time at a place which she loathed, around the people so shallow, hollow and archaic robots!

She had been torturing herself by working in a company which she was never really interested to work for . She could not  develop an interest in it even after 5 years . Worked with people whom she first looked up to and in five years started looking them down. She earned well. Great to be true. Six figures is great for 5 years. She completed her studies in the way she had thought  she wanted to. Successful, not immediately though. But yes after certain setbacks and hurdles, she came up and in the end was successful in her career.

Now she is jobless for 2 weeks, not disconsolate though. Jobless by choice or by her past actions. One day after waking up and getting ready for her usual “job”, she stopped, sat down, opened her system and with ruthless yet smooth strokes typed a resignation letter to her “boss”. She had truly woken up that day. She didn’t think twice because every time she thought she deleted the letter that she had typed. But today she didn’t think. Just wrote. And with her grey matter throbbing hard against her skull to come out and congratulate her along with her pounding heart went to the office and gave him the resignation. He looked at her with quizzical eyes and made her sit down. For the first time she never uttered a word. Just smiled ,left the office and went to coffee shop. Had her favorite cappuccino, one after another ,just enjoying the rain. She had not felt the rain for a long time. That day she did. Felt every drop of it. The rain soaked her and washed away all the inhibitions. She was truly awake in the past five years.

2 weeks on, she did that she had not done in the past 5 years. Treated her enervated mind and body with exercise and literature. She started writing . Opened a free blog. Joined a small dance class.  Called up her parents and friends. And is going to go  trekking day after tomorrow alone. And just a few hours back has applied for a course in journalism in a university.  Hopeful that she will get a scholarship. I hope too.

Now she is looking out of the window. In the rain. Her residence is same, her locality is same but with a different niche. She is different. She is herself. Her eyes reflecting the serenity, contentment and the energy lighting the flame of her newly-discovered life.



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