June 30, 2014 § Leave a comment
Every time I start to think, my mind objects. And when I don’t, my mind yet objects. So I prefer to think. But what? That is exactly what I am thinking. To think on what.
I look beyond her, somewhere, past the concrete walls. I can see it. She is sitting across me on the floor, leaning against that very wall. Her legs crossed and her hands on her lap, placed so lightly yet with brute force. A faint smile spread across her lips. Her eyes boring into me. Seeing not past but in me. I can feel the heat of her pedantic glance. I chose to ignore.
I keep staring into something beyond that wall. There are no thoughts. Then I look at her and ask ” What is so captivating about it ? That keeps me hooked onto it. Tell me. You smile like you know! . ” She looks at me, and the upward curve of her mouth deepens. I have never liked parabola in maths. But in real life, its sublime. Oh! I love her smile! And I hate it when instead of replying, she smiles. I coax her to answer me ” Answer me. Just don’t sit and beam. “
She gets up. In swift and graceful movements of her limbs, she comes and settles down besides me. Folded legs and one arm around my neck, she asks me to look beyond. Her voice, so identical to mine. I look at her quizzically and look beyond. I can see it still. She looks at me and says ” That is your escape. That is why you have a proclivity for it. You wish to throw me out of these 4 walls every time. I sit in front of you to show that gazing at it and doing your “so-called contemplation over nothing ” won’t take me there. You never understand. You chose to ignore. Hence you are tied.”
I change my focus. I get up. She gets back into me with that prompt action that she possesses when eager. I get up to smash these walls. I break out of my chain of useless thinking and staring and escaping and resume my work. To break these confinements. I have thought enough. Its action time.